“blood does not a fetus make!”

Monday, August 28th, 2006
OK OK, very different from my superserious self-righteous posts, I know. But I felt the need to share this beautiful story.

The NYSun reported on August 25th:

A report that a fetus had been found at a Queens golf course triggered a multi-agency search for the mother yesterday — a search that ended when officials determined that the discovery was in fact a sanitary napkin.

Seriously, how in the world could a pad look like a fetus? Hello? Gothamist writes: “Chalk this one up to watching a little too much Law & Order: Special Victims Unit!” Totally. I love SVU, by the way.

Wait, wait, it gets better. Where was this mysterious “fetus” found? A garbage dump, perhaps? A deserted area?

The discovery was initially reported by a golfer who was suspicious of something she found in the restroom, a spokeswoman for the Parks Department said. “Everyone thought it was a fetus,” a course employee said.

So it was found in a bathroom, by a woman? You’re kidding, right? Priceless and also totally depressing.

Thanks to Gothamist for this nugget of news.